FLASH FICTION FRIDAY – F3 – CYCLE 36 – IN A BLENDER: THE BEST LAID PLANS

Write a story with two buddies, Dean and Jerry. It can be any genre you want, it can go any direction you want. But Dean has to be the straight, suave guy and Jerry the bungling buddy.

 Prompt: A Buddy story starring Dean and Jerry

Genre: Open
Word Count: 1000 words
Deadline: Thursday, June 23th, 2011, 6:30 pm EST

THE BEST LAID PLANS

Veronica Marie Lewis-Shaw

 ~Prologue ~

 

Mr. Harry Winston probably thought that he was being clever, sending shipments of loose diamonds through FedEx, instead of the customary… and very expensive… courier service.  Unfortunately, Mr. Harry Winston had not counted on two things…

 One… that somebody might “get to” the pert, young blonde in Purchasing and Procurements, and find out his little plan.

  As Mr. Harry Winston was soon to find out; life can be a cruel teacher.

 Oh… and the other thing…

 Mr. Dean Martin could charm the fur off a mink.

~~**~~

The full moon slid behind the clouds; shrouding the east side of the building in darkness, save for a small light over a side door. The two men climbed out of the nondescript sedan, stolen a few hours earlier from the long-term parking at Lambert-St Louis International Airport.  Dean, without appearing to, quickly scanned the area.

The men quietly approached the small pass-gate set in the twelve-foot high chain link fence surrounding the FedEx warehouse.  Dean pulled the pick set from his jacket pocket and set to work on the padlock.  Jerry stood beside him… flashlight jiggling in his hands.

(whispering) “Come on, Jerry… hold the light still.”

(loud whisper) “I gotta go pee, Dean!”

“Just a minute, Jer… I almost have it.”

A few seconds later… the last tumbler clicked into place…

(very loud) “Dean!  I gotta pee!  NOW!”

“Shhh…quiet… you’re gonna bring…”

Suddenly… the sound of metallic jingling and running feet… paws, actually… broke the quiet of the still night.  A moment later…two sleek, black Dobermans appeared on the other side of the security fence… growling menacingly.

“Great!  Now, see what you’ve done?”

“I’m sorry, Dean.  But, I gotta pee… real bad!”

“Okay, okay… give me the meat, Jerry.”

Jerry handed Dean the backpack with the doctored beef in it.  Dean slipped the chain from the padlock and stood back from the fence… the dogs growling the whole time.

“Okay, Jerry… as soon as I throw the backpack over the fence, we run for that door… got it?”

(whining) “But… but… the mean doggies, Dean… I’m sca…”

“Its okay, little buddy… there’s nothing to be scared of.  The sleeping powder in the meat is gonna put those “mean doggies” to sleep… just like that!”  Dean snapped his fingers.  He took the backpack in hand and rubbed it up against the fence, so the dogs would get a good scent of the meat.

“But, Dean… I…”

Dean threw the backpack over the fence… a long, high arc… the pack landing a hundred feet away, between two parked FedEx vans.  The Dobermans took off in hot pursuit.

Dean grabbed Jerry’s arm… “Come on… let’s go!”  The two ran full tilt for the side door, with Jerry looking back over his shoulder as they ran.

Pausing at the door, Dean fished in his jacket pockets.  Jerry looked out nervously across the lot.  A moment later, Dean tapped him on the shoulder, beckoning Jerry through the open door.

“Hey… how’d you do that?”

Dean held up a purple and green keycard and adjusted his silk necktie, a satisfied expression on his face.

“A little gift from a lady friend.”  Dean replied, with a slow wink.

~~**~~

“A little gift…” wasn’t quite the truth.  Dean had had to “wine and dine” the homely-looking warehouse supervisor for a week, before she invited him back to her condo, for “coffee”.  To Dean’s pleasant surprise, what Maggie may have lacked in looks, she more than made up for between the sheets.  Dean had been with Hollywood actresses and New York models that paled in comparison to Maggie, when it came to “boudoir skills”.

Slipping quietly out of the condo early the next morning, Dean “borrowed” Maggie’s security keycard, hoping that she wouldn’t miss it until Monday, by which time; he planned for him and Jerry to be 1500 miles away.

~~**~~

After finding a restroom for Jerry, who was now doing a serious “potty dance”, the two went in search of the section for the Los Angeles transfer parcels.  Twenty minutes later, Dean located the package they had come for.

The two men then headed back the way they had come in, planning to just slip out quietly into the night and make their get-away.

Unfortunately, the Dobermans had other ideas.  Looking out the door-window to make sure the street and sidewalk were empty, Dean spotted the two dogs… standing like sentries, twenty feet from the door.  Turning to Jerry…

“Jerry… why aren’t the dogs asleep?”

 “Maybe chocolate takes longer?”

 “What are you talking about?”

 “I couldn’t find the sleeping stuff like you said, so I put some chocolate in the meat.  Chocolate makes me sleepy, so….”

 “Chocolate?  We have chocolate?”

 “Yeah… in the medicine cupboard.  Dean, why is…”

 “Oh no!”  Dean covered his eyes, shaking his head… muttering… he looked through his fingers…

“Jerry… pal… that was laxative!”

The two looked out the window.  The dogs stared back.  Dean looked at his watch.

Time seemed to drag out… humans and dogs watching another.  And then, the dogs started to whine… looking at Dean and Jerry… then over to the far corner of the lot… back to the men… whining… back to the lot…

As if on cue, the dogs suddenly bolted!  Dean looked at Jerry… and smiled.

“It’s working!  Let’s get out of here!”

~~**~~

 Some time later, after switching the stolen car for their own, Dean was exiting the “44” for home, when he spotted a white patrol car of the St. Louis Police Department in the rear-view mirror, its “red and blues” flashing.  He slowed the Caddy and steered it to the curb.  Turning to Jerry…

“Okay, little buddy… let me do the talk…what is that?”

Jerry held up the small black disc with flashing red and white lights, for Dean to see.

“This?  I found it in the bag with all those diamonds.  Isn’t it neato, Dean?”  Big toothy grin.

As Dean looked closer… he read the words on the disc… “Anti-theft GPS”.

“Oh No…!”

 ~~finis~~

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About VeronicaThePajamaThief

Bio: Veronica Marie Lewis-Shaw Born in Lisboa, Portugal to parents of Portuguese/Russian descent, Veronica Marie and her wife, Christina Anne, call the Pacific Northwest home, where the couple are “still very much on honeymoon!” When not teaching and finishing her own studies for a Masters in Sociology, Veronica writes fiction, primarily noir - "I love dark!". Her long fascination with noir fiction prompted Veronica to try her own hand at writing fiction several years ago. She has been published in Pulp Metal Magazine, The Lost Children: A Charity Anthology, the horror anthology 100 Horrors, from Cruentus Libri Press, Nightfalls: an End of the World anthology, Drunk On The Moon 2: A Roman Dalton anthology and Gloves Off: Near To the Knuckle's debut anthology. Veronica has also appeared in the inaugural issue of Literary Orphans magazine and her horror/urban fantasy short story SOUL TAKER was recently chosen for inclusion in Lily Childs' february femmes fatales, an urban fantasy/horror anthology. Veronica counts among her mentors - Carole A Parker, Lily Childs, Paul D Brazill, Richard Godwin, Joyce Juzwik and Vicki Abelson. She is currently working on the third draft of her first novel – a memoir – as well the second draft of her first fiction novel, a fantasy novel and the publication of a collection of her flash fiction and short stories. Lily's The Feardom and Vicki Abelson's Women Who Write Facebook writing group have both been a tremendous source of support and inspiration for Veronica. Veronica’s writings can be found athttp://veronicathepajamathief.blogspot.com/ andhttp://veronicathepajamathiefwritespoetry.blogspot.com/, andhttps://veronicathepajamathief.wordpress.com/
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12 Responses to FLASH FICTION FRIDAY – F3 – CYCLE 36 – IN A BLENDER: THE BEST LAID PLANS

  1. Nice Story Veronica. Amazing how these boys get into trouble. and Marilyn Monroe ‘Talk to me Harry Winston, Talk to me. Well done, clever and you captured Dean and Jerry very well.

  2. Glen says:

    Oh Jerry!! Cool stuff!

  3. barbara says:

    What a delightful story! I really thought they were going to make their getaway after that piece of brilliance with the “chocolate”. That was an inspired touch. Very nicely done!

    • Thank you so much, Barbara! I am very glad you enjoyed it. And, thank you for the wonderful compliment!

      I wanted something else for Jerry to “mess up”… it just seemed the sort of thing Jerry would do. Besides…. we can’t have a happy ending… not like in the movies! Lol!

      I am now officially a “Mile High” writer! Except for a little research and a few notes before I had left, I wrote the entire story while “winging across America”! I have been traveling for the last week, and the only free time I have had to write, was during my flights. Only four cities, but it felt like I had flown half the country! Haha!

  4. Jenny says:

    Haha oh man, poor Dean. Jerry was just messing everything up! I loved it, the ending was perfect (:

    • Thank you, Jenny! I am so happy you liked it. Yes, I really liked the ending too, although… it was almost something else. I got a little inspiration on the flight from Denver to Boise, and re-wrote what I had started for the ending. 🙂

  5. SueH says:

    This must be the week fro great endings – and yours was no exception, Veronica!

    Loved the bit with the laxitives, too!! ;-p

  6. Ray Yanek says:

    Another great story! The prologue hooked me, the problem with the dogs brought me in even deeper, and the mistake with the ‘chocolate’ brought it all home. Very nice work!

  7. Thank you very much, Ray! Your words do me honor.

    After reading through the first draft, I just wasn’t “feeling it”, you know what I mean? Something was missing… too many questions, so…

    I could get to like prologues! 🙂

    Thank you for reading my story.

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